Out there in the 'bush'

We all know that there is no area of the body that cannot be subject to a beauty treatment – I’ll cite anal bleaching to mentally graphically illustrate the point. We can’t help noticing a sudden increase in the number of pampering products and treatments all designed for a vah-vah-voom vagina. Once you’ve shot a baby out of said orifice, it’s a stretch (no pun intended) of the imagination to think of prettying it up.  But, once a trend starts, there’s simply no stopping it, so coming to a salon near you is:

Betty Beauty Dye

We’re told that the best selling shade for hair down there is hot pink Fun Betty, (in middle America where the sales figures come from). If you’re noticing things are looking a little grey or even just a tad predictable this little DIY dye is the perfect thing. You’ll also need to get the blow-dryer out, so be prepared to look a little ‘bouffed’ for a while! Pick from shades such as Love (bright red), Lucky (green) or Sunburst (orange) as well as the more usual black, auburn or brown for matching collars and cuffs. £14.95, www.bettycolour.co.uk

Ministry of Waxing

Okay, it’s nearly Christmas, so numero uno on every busy mum’s pre-Yuletide list is sprucing up her bush, no? The Ministry of Waxing is promising to whip it off in jolly Christmas tree shapes and add a little crystal embellishment too so your pubic pine fest looks properly decorated. Our Santa would ho-ho-ho himself into a heart-attack, we fear, but everyone loves a festive package, right? www.ministryofwaxing.com

The Vaj-j Visor

Now here’s a little item you never thought you’d need, but we think it might prove indispensible for those who love a truly all-over spray tan. It’s an insertable guard to stop your bits being accidentally bronzed in the tanning booth – although quite how you stand so exposed in what is basically a Portaloo with St Tropez, we’re not all that sure – and can double as a protector for the above waxing so you don’t inadvertently drip hot wax on any delicate parts. Ouch. www.vaj-jvisor.com

Check out the British Beauty Blogger's quite brilliant musings on all things bright and beautiful by clicking here.

Would you ever try out a little bit of 'bush' topiary? Is your Vaj j j off limits to the frivolity of fashions?

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