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The joy of playgrounds

Thu, 20 May 2010 | Anon

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I once had the confidence to interview politicians and leading dignitaries when I now don’t even have the nerve to approach another female in the playground. The thought of asking another mum if their child would like to come for a play date with mine can break me out in a cold sweat.

I feel intimidated by the groups of women who huddle together around their designer buggies. More than once I’ve tried to stroll over, smile and shoot the breeze only to be blanked. And this has often been by women I’ve had lengthy chats with on previous occasions. However in my neck of the woods it seems to be acceptable for people to ignore each other and avoid all eye contact when it suits.
 Ridiculous isn't it? Yet one mum came to collect her little darling from ours and then afterwards began to blank me in the playground. What had I done? I anxiously sat and obsessed over every detail of the brief conversation I had with her. I had smiled and been friendly, didn't have spinach stuck in my teeth or food in my hair. Blanking seems to have become the norm.

Even the commute to school can be stressful. But what should be a fairly pleasant ten-minute walk has become a competition for survival of the fittest.

It’s like sharing the pavement with frustrated racing drivers – who are steering Bugaboos and Phil and Teds and have a steely glint in their eye. I’ve had parents cut me up with their buggies, elbow me and my little ones out of the way so we’re all practically spread-eagled in hedges – all in their ambitious strive to get ahead and be in the playground first. And as for manners? Forget it. It’s little wonder their little darlings don’t know how to say please and thank you. It’s just like being on the Tube.

I personally prefer not to be in the playground early at the start or the end of the day. It can be excruciating. There are countless occasions when I’ve felt like a complete and utter spare part. I end up checking texts that aren’t there and also tend to engage in intense conversation with my youngest – even if she is asleep in her buggy. It’s like regressing to childhood again. I now feel like the little girl in the playground. Though I don’t ever remember encountering such hostility when I was that age. You just got on with it and walked to school on your own.

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Comments - 4 and counting...

I hate playgrounds, having been threatened at one just after the mother told her boy to thump my (special needs) child I pretty much avoid them. Not all disabilities are visible!
I just don't own enough Boden for the nicer playgrounds and the mums are plain hostile if you don't look right. Hell! We go on long walks instead!

Posted by: moomum | 20 May 2010

That's shocking. Mostly I find playgrounds akin to having someone try to give you a lobotomy purely by mind transference. I generally make too many phone calls then get nervous that I look like a crap mum, and so follow son around loudly encouraging his repetitive moves on the climbing frame. Long walks in London just end in shops. Mostly!

Posted by: gigi | 20 May 2010

I spend the whole time on Twitter or texting too, which probably makes me look horribly antisocial, but there's only so much inane smiling you can do. On the one hand I sort of like the relative anonymity that a large school brings, but then I also hate feeling like a two-headed social pariah. My eldest has been at the school almost 2 years and i know 2 other parents from his class to say hello to. My middley started in September and, on the whole, they're a friendlier bunch but it's still the ongoing conversation thing that I'm not part of.....is it any wonder that the iphone is so popular?

Posted by: peabee | 20 May 2010

This is NOT good news. I have been promised, ney, assured, that big school is much friendler and that's where you meet all your great mum mates, and have parties, and playdates, sleepovers and wine. Lots of wine. And now it seems it was all a big fat lie. Just to get us through the playgrounds. Someone will be held accountable for this. I'm writing to the PM. Bet SamCam doesn't have this kind of c**p.

Posted by: gigi | 20 May 2010

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