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Dannii Minogue and the Maternity Factor

Thu, 25 February 2010 | Gigi Eligoloff

So Danni's future on X Factor is looking wobbly, Denise Van Outen won't be looking for Dorothy and all is not well on Planet Pregnant Celebrity. Unless you're Coleen Rooney of course, who has 'pinged' back into shape a mere 3 months after having baby Kai, and is now frolicking in the surf somewhere hot and posh.

The big news today, (from someone with a calander) is that Dannii Minogue's birth is clashing with the X Factor auditions. We know, shocking isn't it. Not that she deliberately strove to conflict with the highlight of our favourite Saturday night guilty pleasure, but that it's even suggested that she would still be involved. What's she going to do - alternate put downs and panting in a Marc Jacobs sequined maxi (with an open back)?

Denise Van Outen is allegedly cross that she's been passed over for a panel job on the upcoming Andrew Lloyd Webber search-for-a-star-and-get-free-publicity-for-my-next-project show 'Over the Rainbow' on the BBC. But has she been dumped for the bump? Or is it another case of Strictly-gate? It's not like she's going to marry the winner again. Is it? 

Happily, something tells us Dannii at least, couldn't give a 4 X for whether she's flanking Walsh, newly single Cheryl Cole and a (strangely unsettling) loved-up Cowell, or not. She's 38 and is probably just glad to be knocked up and at least have a chance of getting back to her career at some point after becoming a mother. But a word of warning to these new celeb mummy-to-be's - when  you come up for air in about a year (or three's time) just be ready for the world to have moved on without you. Yes, you may be raising the next generation of tax-payers/doctors/pop-stars and presenters, but with the stretch marks and the gap in the cv, your days in the high-earning spotlight might well be over.

No of course it's not fair, it's flipping rubbish.

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Comments - 2 and counting...

What really gets to me about this bloody mum-to-be celebs is the way they waft around in their designer maxis and beautific smiles (just got that off you Gigi on Twitter) as if they are actually the only women on the planet ever to experience pregnancy and then motherhood. I'm in such a bad mood today I just want to tell them 'IT'S REALLY BLOODY HARD AND NOT THE WALK IN THE PARK YOU ARE USED TO' but that would be mean and bitter so I won't. I will make a cup of tea and eat chocolate instead.

Posted by: itsamummyslife | 3 March 2010

Please do ensure you smile beatifically whilst you nibble your chocolate though. Wouldn't want anyone to think it was...actually....getting...to....you!

Posted by: gigi | 3 March 2010

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