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For those of us who don't wear Boden...

Thu, 18 February 2010 | Gigi Eligoloff

This half term we've been amusing ourselves by reading the increasingly nasty comments on an article in the Daily Mail (yes, we know we shouldn't be reading it, but, anyway). Janet Street Porter's entertaining and eloquent response to the 10th Birthday party invite she received from a certain mummy site, clue's in the title: This smug Mumsnet mafia won't get my vote, has had us equally appalled and amused since it's re-ignited the age-old war between (vocal) mothers and the rest of the world.

Let's start by getting the obvious out of the way.  By putting 'Boden' as a dress code (irony ladies, is always lost in print) Mumsnet have publicly fallen head first into such a rabbit hole of snobbery, that it's like we've been whisked back to the 1950's, to a world were grammar school kids with cheap shoes are still frowned upon, however clever they are. And what nightmarish scenario might unfold should we all gather together marching through mummy forums dressed in clashing prints with a contrast edging. Seriously, someone call Sam Raimi. 

But the thing that really stuck out like a sore mum in this debate is the highly irritating fact that women who have children are suposedly stuck between a rock (lumped together in mummy cliques or cliches) and a hard place (the pointy-fingered media). Does that happen with fathers (grrrr!). The comments on Janet's article have largely sprung from both the 'child-free-and-happy' brigade and the Mumsnet supporters. As one person rightly suggested, if you are child-free and happy, why are you wasting your time reading and commenting on articles about parenting. Something tells us you're not that happy - go and lounge around on a sofa and watch Deal or No Deal (you read the Daily Mail for Chrissakes!). If it were us we'd be jetting off to Vegas for a night or five on the town, or failing that sinking into our sofas to watch something brilliant by Almodovar. Well for a bit anyway.

So, if you're not in the mummy clique, and you're not a mummy-hater, where do you stand?  Maybe you just stand with the rest of us, running around and trying to do everything you need doing, while usually not having enough time to bitch about people you don't know in the virtual world. Why is it so hard to believe that if we don't want to belong to one gang or another, in this case, the Mumsnetters, or the child-free-and-happy crew, that we don't have a say? We do, and let's hope we're the ones who are going to help decide the next General Election. Nobody should have to belong to a gang to have a voice, and no matter how well-intentioned Mumsnet is in it's urge to politicise it's members (and actually it's sort of a good idea isn't it?), having a herd mentality is never a good thing.

So round one goes to Janet SP, and it's back to the (Boden) drawing Board ladies. We'll be the ones watching from the sidelines (mildly amused, if we have the time of course).

Finally, we did sort of wonder. If Boden was the dress code for Mumsnetters. What would ours be - or is that just too horrible a picture to conjure up. What do you think?

 

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Comments - 13 and counting...

he he, great writing; I have to confess I do have the odd Boden item in my wardrobe (mostly children's shoes as they are pretty, vat-free and a child size 39 sits an adult size 38!!) but I really dislike Mumsnet - mainly because of the frequent totally irrational rants & sometimes widely inappropriate comments posted there - I left because I did wonder exactly who was frequenting those pages...I highlighted to the Mumsnet 'powers-that-be' in Mumsnet Towers a particularly weird sexual comment posted in reply to someone seeking opinion on a name for their newborn baby girl, & got an especially pathetic response about 'freedom of speech' which seemed gutless to me. Alot of frumpy middle-class hot air blowing & posturing I think!
:-)

Posted by: nataliebee | 18 February 2010

Excellent! It does make me irritated/squirmy/mildly outraged that in some quarters the opinions of all mums are channeled through mumsnet. I dont happen to be a member, it kind of passed me by and I have other mummy type internet forums/cliques I belong to instead. Do mumsnet speak for me? Since I dont know what they are saying its hard to say whether I agree with them or not. I dont wear Boden though.

'Nobody should have to belong to a gang to have a voice, and no matter how well-intentioned Mumsnet is in it's urge to politicise it's members'...having a herd mentality is never a good thing.'

I agree. Or maybe there should be lots of gangs! We started laptopmums (http://laptopmums.wordpress.com) to raise our voices about issues that matter to us and welcome all contributions. Our idea is to show that just because we are all mums, doesnt mean we share a brain or a conscience. We are individuals, just like men! Imagine that ;)

Posted by: BeeBeeF | 18 February 2010

lol! Yes, imagine that BeeBeeF!!

Natalie - just because you have a Boden item in your wardrobe, come the revolution, you will not be stood against the wall. Mind you, if you had 3 or 4 pieces....there might be a tribunal :)

Posted by: gigi | 18 February 2010

I've been a member of Mumsnet for ten years (there, I've said it) and (gulp) I own a Boden coat.

Unfortunately the media have chosen to pigeonhole all Mumsnetters as middle class and left of centre, a stereotype which owners of Mumsnet help to perpetuate. I think maybe five or six years ago before it exploded in size, it really was what the Daily Mail would like to believe it is. Nowadays is contains a huge cross section of mothers, all trying to find moral support and friendship in the often desparately lonely, isolated world of parenting.

We all need a voice, but I agree becoming part of an amorphous mass of 'mummy voters' isn't the way forward. We're all so much more than just mothers.

Posted by: karamina | 18 February 2010

Here's laptopmum's (or mine, we are not a collective voice :P) take on it: http://laptopmums.wordpress.com/2010/02/18/does-mumsnet-speak-for-you/ I quoted you :)

Posted by: BeeBeeF | 18 February 2010

I clicked on the headline because I can't bring myself to look at a Boden catalogue since some casting directors persuaded me to send my children to go to a casting for a Boden catalogue then spurned them at the final stage. The experience which I thought would be funny was absolutely horrific and when I found out that the children and parents of those who were chosen then got to S Africa for their next shoot I was apoplectic. I now chuck the Boden catalogue in the bin as soon as it comes through the door!

The only time I bought adult Boden was when my best friend was getting married and hadn't invited me and another great friend to be bridesmaids. We thought it would be hilarious if we bought matching Boden dresses and followed her down the aisle. Fortunately for the bride as I am nearly 6' and the other is 5' nothing we both looked hideous in them and promptly sent them back. Boden is clearly for average people. Never been on mumsnet but imagine it is much the same. MumsRock rocks! I think if we had to say we had a dress code for our kids we would like to say something independently designed and organic but is more likely something cheap, washable and (in the case of my daughers) inappropriately tarty from Asda or H&M

Posted by: Bar1Buffy | 18 February 2010

Going slightly off topic, I have a love/hate relationship with Boden. Guilty as charged for having two or three Boden items in the wardrboe, but really, having some willowy blonde telling me her 'fastest way to get in the holiday mood' whilst modelling the 'fun knitted henley'(what the ....?) irritates me beyond belief.
As a good friend once said, never ever buy an item of clothing with a name that involves the word 'fun'....

Posted by: heyjude | 18 February 2010

Yes, I supose... why should it be just It bags that get the name thing?
There could be the Nora Knickers, Sadie socks and Babs Windsor bra.
Or, like the 'Fun Henley', for those with no imagination whatsoever, we might purchase the 'Easy-going' dress and 'Glam' Tunic(...when hell freezes over). No wait, hang on, these are just more examples of real Boden clothes. SS10.

Posted by: gigi | 19 February 2010

I own nothing from Boden and the 32 month old owns their orange duffle which admittedly is gorgeous. But we're not Boden people and I certainly don't fit the Mumsnet demographic. Until a few months ago, I didn't know what DS, DD, and DH meant. I thought the first was some in thing about Nintendo - drove me mad. Makes me sick up a bit when I see people using it (OK sicking up is an exaggeration but you get the gist) - but it reminds me that I'm not one of these people. I haven't been kidnapped by the mothership. I'm still a mother.
What would my dresscode be? I don't stick to one label dahlings...

www.twitter.com/nataliemlue

Posted by: Nat Lue | 22 February 2010

Well I'm here to proudly say, I Like Boden! Not everything, mind you. My closet isn't stuffed full of "fun henleys" or those polka dot skirts they make but i do like their stuff. don't think it makes me an insufferable mummy, though. I dunno - you could ask my friends if I had any.

Posted by: JHowze | 22 February 2010

(*cackles*) I'd laugh my 'fun henley' off if I had one!

Posted by: gigi | 22 February 2010

A shredded Boden catalogue works really well as Rabbit Bedding!

Posted by: TheAccidentalBu... | 26 February 2010

I'm still confused as to why they thought JSP would actually turn up...?? Never bought Boden, but have used DS/DD a few times to make things twitter-able. And I am a member of Mumsnet but don't go there much because I'm scared. Sorry Natalie, I really didn't mean to make you sick :-(

http://twitter.com/nomorexcuses

Posted by: nomorexcuses | 16 March 2010

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